Spiritual Practices

Introspection

Spiritual Practice: When you find yourself judging others or criticizing others, see them as a mirror of yourself. Are you criticizing or judging them for a flaw or characteristic that you have? Don't give this a quick answer. Remember that if you feel an emotional charge from the actions or attitudes of another person, it's about you, not that person. “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?" (Matthew 7:3).

Spiritual Practice: Looking back over the day or week, see what thoughts, emotions, and behaviors stand out. Do you see any trends? Are you more positive in your outlook or negative? As you review the day or week, are you aware of any subtle thoughts, those that just barely surface from the subconscious into the conscious mind on occasion. You can gain a lot of useful information from this kind of self-analysis. The more you allow yourself to become aware of your light and your shadows, the more you can be aware of behaviors and thoughts that may be holding you back and then do something about it. An ancient Indian sage named Patanjali said, “Awareness is the pillar of yoga"—“yoga" meaning “union with God."

Spiritual Practice: To help with the process of self-awareness, whenever something happens to you that triggers a significant emotional response, separate the facts from your feelings and your judgments. Shakespeare wrote, “Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Looking at the bare data is an interesting exercise in helping you see things more clearly. The same facts could create a variety of emotions and judgments, depending on the individual.

Spiritual Practice: After separating the data or facts from the judgments and emotions surrounding a significant experience, look at your judgments about the facts. How are you judging the situation? How are you judging yourself? How are you judging others? Many people would consider the statement “I had a great day" to be a fact when actually it's a judgment. The fact might be “I got a raise." For most people the judgment might be, “That's great!" For others, the judgment might be, “That's not good. I was planning to leave this job and now the decision to do so has become much more difficult."

Spiritual Practice: What beliefs are behind your judgments of others, yourself, your circumstances? Write them down, allowing the possibility for subconscious and conflicting beliefs to come to the surface. This kind of awareness can greatly increase your self-knowledge and reveal your self-sabotaging influences. The more you know, the more you can respond accordingly. When and where did those beliefs come from? Are they true, or are they the false beliefs of a child trying to make sense of a confusing world?

Spiritual Practice: What emotions arise from your judgments? Emotions are useful information. Start to see how your thoughts and judgments about what happens to you affect your feelings. Something happens, you judge it to be bad, and you feel angry or sad. If you judge it to be good, you're happy. Change the beliefs from which the judgments arise, and you change your judgments. Change your judgments and your emotions change accordingly. Work on changing the beliefs that aren't true and no longer serve you.

Spiritual Practice: Acknowledge yourself for what you've accomplished, no matter how small; for your acts of service; for your creative, positive thoughts; for any little effort you made spiritually. If you acknowledge it, you will experience more of it. This is not egotism—this is an honest recognition of your own goodness, of your soul shining through your ego.

Spiritual Practice: Whenever you make a decision, ask yourself whether it's coming from your innate spiritual nobility, or whether it's coming from your shadow side—fear, weakness, lack of self-confidence, and so on. The decision may seem noble on the surface, but looking deeper you might find that the motivation stems from a place of shadow. Or it might seem questionable to others, but the motivation comes straight from your conscience or a feeling of love. “To thine own self be true" (Shakespeare).

Spiritual Practice: When considering buying or acquiring something, or doing something or becoming something, ask yourself whether it's a want or a need. If it's a need, rank it with all your other needs so you have a clear understanding of its importance in relation to the others. Do the same with your wants. Rank your wants so you know which ones to devote time to and which ones to let go of permanently or temporarily. Do you go after those wants or needs that are easy to obtain and offer quick gratification, perhaps at the expense of attaining other, more significant wants or needs? Are you doing anything to get close to fulfilling your strongest wants and needs? Do you believe you can even attain your deepest wants and needs? Allow the answers to come uncensored to find out whether you're on track or holding yourself back.

Spiritual Practice: If you need to make a decision, weigh the pros and cons of your options. Then, instead of adding up the pros and cons to see which option has more pros, numerically or alphabetically rank the different aspects of the options to reflect their relative importance. Some factors far outweigh others. For example, you might have a job offer for a position in a new company that pays more but requires an extra 90 minutes of driving each day. For you, this added driving might far outweigh the benefit of a higher salary, considering time away from family and important activities, and the extra money spent on gas and auto maintenance. Prioritizing the various issues involved will give you a clearer picture and enable a better decision.

Spiritual Practice: For greater self-awareness about different aspects of your life, practice a method developed by Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Rapidly complete this sentence at least six times and up to ten times over a two or three minute period: “If I bring 5 percent more awareness to [some aspect of your life]...” For example, “If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my relationship with my partner...” or “If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my emotions...” This method brings beliefs, thoughts, and feelings to your conscious mind that have been hiding in your subconsciousness. It’s an excellent exercise for becoming more self-aware.

Spiritual Practice: When you catch yourself doing something "stupid" or wrong, or when you make a mistake, pay attention to what you tell yourself. Maybe you even say it aloud: "That was dumb," or "Stupid!" We can be so used to the harsh inner critic that we hardly notice it. Listen for it at times when you might expect it to give voice. What does it say? Whose voice is it? How does it affect you? Is it true?